THE IMPOSSIBLE DIALS WE TRIED TO MAKE ANYWAY
(And Why Our Factories Now Avoid Eye Contact With Us)
You know that moment when a designer hands you a sketch that looks like it was drawn during an existential crisis at 3am, on a piece of paper that already survived a tea accident, a coffee incident, and possibly a small fire?
Most brands would say:
“Great concept. Let’s clean it up and make a proper dial.”
We said:
“What if we don’t clean it up? What if the crumpled, stained, chaotic sketch is the dial?”
And that, dear reader, is how we entered the ninth circle of manufacturing hell.
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Why These Dials Should Not Exist (Yet Here We Are)
Making one dial that looks like crumpled paper is surprisingly doable.
Making hundreds that look handcrafted, unique, and defective-but-in-a-good-way?
That’s where things get… crunchy.
Issue #1: Embossing the Dial = Dial Death
We started with a brass dial blank. The plan: emboss it with a faint crumple pattern.
The result:
The paint cracked.
The lume cracked.
The factory cracked.
Embossing metal is great for clean shapes.
Less great for “Oops, I sat on this document.”
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Issue #2: UV Z-Axis Topographical Printing
This magical printer can build up texture layer by layer.
Except…
Our texture was too fine.
It smoothed out the tiny crumple details like it was putting moisturiser on the dial.
Everything came out gently lumpy instead of sharply crumpled.
A wrinkly potato, not a ruined sketch.
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Issue #3: Laser Etching:
Lasers are precise.
Our crumple pattern is chaotic.
They don’t mix.
Instead of crisp paper texture, we got something that looked like the aftermath of a cat fight.

Then Came the “Sensible Suggestions”…
Every watch house we spoke to eventually said the same thing:
“Just pour a thin clear enamel layer on top so you have a flat surface to print on.”
Yes, it would solve the printing issues.
Yes, everything would be wonderfully legible.
Yes, the dial would stop exploding under factory lighting.
But it would also remove the entire 3D crumpled relief that makes this dial ours.
We could have gone safer.
We could have chosen:
– Grand feu enamel, but it cracks if you breathe too enthusiastically.
– Frosted metal, but it shows fingerprints like it’s auditioning for CSI.
– Heat bluing, but you lose half the batch because they turned purple instead.
– Meteorite, but then we’d have to price the watch like a small hatchback.
But no.
We chose chaos.
We chose paper texture.
We chose suffering.
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So… How Are We Solving It?
This is the part where sane brands would say: We gave up.
We didn’t.
We think we’ve found a viable process that keeps:
✔ the 3D relief
✔ the shading
✔ the “drawn at 2am” authenticity
✔ the imperfections
✔ the soul
What we need now is a factory brave enough to do it at scale without invoicing us their emotional damages.
That hunt continues.
What We Need From You
Before we commit to unleashing this monster onto the world:
Do you want the proper 3D crumpled texture?
Or would you accept a smoother dial that only looks textured?
This determines our entire production path.
Comment below, email us, or send a carrier pigeon.
Your vote matters.

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And Lastly… A Small Plea From Your Favourite Delinquents
Developing this dial has cost:
– a lot of money
– several machines’ dignity
– one designer’s will to live
If you want to support the chaos, the art, and the suffering:
They directly fund the creation of this stupidly difficult watch.
We’ve also been forced (at gunpoint by capitalism) into doing a Black Friday discount, so if you want something genuinely unique for Christmas, this is your last chance before prices go back up (USE THE CODE BLKFRI AT CHECKOUT FOR 30% OFF).

Thank you for being the kind of people who cheer us on when we say,
“What if we made a watch dial that looks like it survived a divorce?”
You make this madness worth it.
—Creamy Patina
6 comments
A 3D-dial would break the system, which is why we love you; and crave for it to happen.
I bought the first batch of cufflinks way back when, you know, the rarer ones which cost you a lawsuit with a result that your souls was sucked empty by Big Brands?
This project is your way of taking back your souls while standing on a barricade, slapping your helmets and telling Big Brands that their fathers smelled of elderberries.
Creamy Patina IS the brand who goes out of their way to make the impossible possible, so I’m pretty sure you’ll figure out the 3D-dial!
Defo the 3D path! What makes me ask: why don’t you have the dials 3D-printed?
Definitely keep the crumpled dial. It is the thing that attracted myself, and I imagine many of your other supporters, to the project. Anybody can print a dial witha cool new image. Your idea is different, it it atypical, and pushes the boundaries of watch design.
Definitely 3D crumple dial, that is what sets this idea apart from all others. If not you will just have a printed dial with crooked hands..
A flat printed dial would completely take away the appeal of your proposal. We’re eager to see this true 3D dial come to life; the long wait will definitely be worth it.
A properly crumpled dial. Diamond cut crumpled hands and indices please ! Thank you for committing and bringing true to your ideas!